I deal with the public day in and day out. I love working with people and there are days that it seems less enjoyable. As a result of my work in recent years I have become more and more careful with how I conduct myself because seeing others reactions really leaves an impression in you.
Today I was in browsing in Goodreads and a friend email me a blog post from bec_fitzpatrick title ‘Be nice’ I read the entire entry but when I got to the comments my mind burst in a fit. Perhaps it’s because I see day and day out people that seem to believe that to express your discontent with something you clearly must be rude about it to get your point across. I can assure you folks that this is not the case. Same thing can be said in reading. So I lost my head and posted a brief rant about this not only there but I will do so here too. Here is what I said in Goodreads:
Normally I don't post in online discussions such as this. But, I'm going to break my own rule for today. Day in and day out I see people that seem to think that posting an online scathing trashy review is actually expressing your opinion. How odd that in a post where the person is saying 'be nice' some folks choose to be so rude about their opinions. Here is a clue folks; the ruder you are about your opinion the less likely you are to be taken seriously.
Look nobody is saying you can't have your opinion. If you all read the blog entry above, Mrs. Fitzpatrick CLEARLY says so and even suggest one way to do it. Everyone should you have an opinion but you should express it in a way that would be a benefit to the author, and her/his work. Nobody ever learn from flattery alone. However, when you use a scathing way to express your opinion it becomes extremely difficult to identify your real issue with the book. Try treating others the way YOU like to be treated. Do you want to read a bunch of insults about your work? Or would you prefer to points of characterization and plot that made the book not such a fun read? Try seating yourself in the receiving end of the review and stop proclaiming to the world your right to say whatever you like. Yes, we all get it you, and everyone else has freedom of speech, but having it doesn’t mean that you have to be rude about your opinion. Try being tactful and respectful and I can honestly say that your opinion may end up being one of the most important reviews that the author may have received.
Again, express your opinion in a way that we can all identify the controversial, failing or weak points of the books. It help others to later determined if the book could be right or wrong for them based on the things you said. However, when you launch personal attacks towards the author, and do a healthy trash of the book the review becomes laughable and in all honesty not worth to be taken seriously. So yes ‘be nice’ so authors can understand what could be the weakest points of their books; and where do they need to improve. Because by telling them that they suck, don’t know how to write, or that they have a hidden agenda you insult them and quite honestly it says more about you, than about the book.
Don’t expect to burn everyone with your words and get compliments in return. Life doesn’t work that way.
I seriously learned a lot from the people that nicely and calmly explained the failing points of my work. I appreciate them and consider them because I don't have a big ego to believe I know it all. Life is a learning process and more than happy to be a student every day. However, it really gets me going when people feel the need to burn others with their words as if that makes them superior or more educated. Not every book will be your cup of tea and what you considerer a weak point in a book maybe the strongest for another one. Reading is subjective and that is what it constantly fascinates me about books.
It seems that in every corner there is a bully waiting to strike, and today I seem to have no patience for it.
So much for Sunday = Funday…
2. With a new writing project I have finally tackle my constant apprehension of the world of finance... Scary is the word that comes to mind, and yet so important and essential. I realize now that half the people that lose money are doing so because they are doing moves that financial analysts insist you shouldn't do.
3. How much time does research takes the rest of you.
4. I'm going to write a different blog post about the recent announcement of Harper Collins and the digital books issue. Like someone said it sometimes feels as if publishers hate readers.
5. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of lkmadigan I did not have the pleasure of knowing her but she sounded like an amazing woman. My heart goes out to her son and husband.
- I feel: blah
1. I'm having a debate with someone over audiobooks. I say that listening to an audiobook IS reading, they say it's not. I argued that just like reading you would have to pay attention. What about the people who have vision problems? Are they not reading a book when they listening to an audiobook? What do you think?
2. Need to start exercising. I have a treadmill, and hope to start early morning, because it's when I have my most motivation.
3. My house is all decorated for xmas. Hubby took a few days off and got busy, the house looks amazing.
4. Went to the English teacher’s convention and had a blast. Only was able to meet three authors due to my scheduling not being very forgiving. However, I picked up a few books which was very fun, I just hope to have time to have them review before their release.
5. I already started doing my Christmas shopping. Mostly it has been online, because the black Friday sales brought nothing interesting.
- I feel: hungry
Now something that has been interfering too much with our family time is... As a child I use to hate homework, as an adult I think is the most vile thing that ever existed. Don't you always hear teachers complaining about how they have lots of paper to grade? Here is a new idea, stop giving homework. Parents, kids, and you, all hate the damn thing.
In between breaks a few days ago I was hit with the inspiration for a story that I had been thinking. Inspiration hit me suddenly and I'm sure I must looked like a freak frantically digging thru my bag for pen and paper. I haven't figure out if I would like to make this a short story or something else, but I figure I would share a very, very rough draft. So please be kind it's unedited and straight from my mind.
Tommy loved soccer and watching cartoons on Saturday morning but ever since he started third grade at Highland elementary he hadn’t done any of that. Tommy’s teacher Mr. Jude, or Mr. rude like everyone called him, was the meanest teacher that ever existed. Only eight unfortunate children made it into his class each year and Tommy had been one of the unlucky few.
Mr. Rude was very tall and had light brown hair that was perfectly combed right in the middle. His big dark brown eyes gave him the impression of being permanently surprised. Mr. Rude always dressed in brown and cream colors and in clothes that made him look as if he was going on a hunting expedition, or a safari. However, if he ever dreamed of such things Tommy never knew. The man was known for having the most boring classes with the most difficult homework. Even other teachers couldn't manage to contain their outrage for the man's homework and class!
Except art, Mr. Jude gave Tommy all his classes. He was well known for the gigantic amount of homework he gave and how difficult could it be. Tommy usually started doing homework right after he came home from school. Many times he wasn’t done until the night time, barely giving him time to shower, eat, and go to bed. Tommy had never hated school as he did at the moment. Not only did he have to suffer of an entire day of Mr. Rude sarcastic, loud and obnoxious behavior. He also had to endure how hard the man could make homework. One time his homework was so hard that his mom let him go to bed and finished it up for him, not before making swear he wouldn’t tell anyone.Each morning Tommy woke up wishing that he would get to school and Mr. Rude would be sick, or dead. His mother had not been happy to hear him say such thing. She, in fact, was furious, but it was hard not feel that way. He had heard that the only way of getting rid of homework was when he was out sick and so Tommy everyday wished illness on the man. Death would have meant that he would never had to see the man again. However when he got to school that morning his fantasies were once again shatter by the image of Mr. Rude standing on the doorway waiting for his class to come in.
- I feel: artistic
However in more positive and creative news, after buying my notebook I know only have about two to three chapters to go. I will need someone eventually that proofreads it for all the things I need but soon I can start submitting! Eeekk!!!
- I feel: frustrated
Today I have to say that my week didn't start on the right path. So I would say that today I do hate Mondays. Why you ask? Well the answer is a bit complicated... What do people have against showers? Really, do share because my day was spent dabbing Purell on my hands and smelling it. Perhaps is that as a grow older I'm become a cleaning freak, but for crying out loud this guy was killing me! Yuck!
So tell me why do you hate/like mondays?
- I feel: nauseated
Normally I don't rant about personal stuff that angers me, but this one I need too, just because I'm hitting the bottom of my patience meter.
I'm a Disney fan, and a Barbie doll fanatic. I love the movies, loves the characters etc, etc.
I love Disney because there is something magical for me to be transported to another time and see a story unfold. I like happy endings too, in fact I'm a sucker for those. I get enough drama, problems and see enough pain and suffering in a day to last me a life time. When I read, see movies, or choose an activity I stay away from sad endings and heart smashing movies, or books. I also avoid the news. Plain and simple I can't go to work the next day with a smile on my face, after I spent the entire previous night watching a depressing movie. The human minds needs to unplug and recharge and that's my way.
Disney is known for happy endings and apparently that's a good reason for folks to criticized it. Adults are especially good at this. Apparently it's not realistic and putting a happy ending in a book or a movie is bad. Recently I heard someone criticize the new Mocking Jay book because the ending seemed to Disney for them... Grrr... Folks humans were not made to be alone. We seek human companion and interaction. Getting married, having children and a family IS a part of life and yet every damn character that chooses the path of a family is trashed and burned for it. Many of those characters I notice have a career, but apparently that's not good enough for some people. Yet what exactly is the person supposed to do? Why should a character remain alone just to prove that they are good people and worth of the statue of feminist of the year? Do tell folks because every adult that I encounter keeps on criticizing that kind of choice but can't actually answer my question. Does breaking your back for a company guarantees you to be unique in their eyes? I hate to state this to people but the flat out honest answer is no. I'm sure my coworkers would be sad if I die, but someone else can, and will, do my job the next week. Why can't characters choose a family, have a career and God forbid be happy with the rest of their lives. How does getting married and having children makes you less in the eyes of this folks? Mind you don't give the answer that it is an example for the young generation. The ONLY people that have problems with that type of ideas are adults, never children.
However, in my children's, husband, mother, and sister's eyes I could never be replace. I am unique and special and nobody can or will ever take my place. It is as the poem says:
One hundred years from now
It will not matter
What kind of car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
How much I had in my bank,
Nor what my clothes looked like.
One hundred years from now
It will not matter
What kind of school I attended,
What kind of typewriter I used,
How large or small my church,
But the world may be ...
a little better because...
I was important in the life of a child.
~~ Author Unknown ~~
Perhaps if we stopped criticizing and over-analizing every aspect of a character's life and trying to preach to a younger generation we would actually SEE the point of the story. Perhaps then we could actually enjoy the story... Gasp!
I have collected Barbie dolls for years and although lately I have been slowing down the reason is because I hate clutter and choose only to have an amount I can handle. However, when I was growing up and I was playing with my dolls it never once crossed my mind that I actually wanted to BE Barbie. In fact I'm pretty darn sure I would have consider the idea very stupid. In fact I cringe my teeth every time I see someone saying how Barbie is to blame for the weight problems that teens have these days. Really? How is that? Are girls these days that stupid? I'm sorry but I dont' think so, and to say such thing is to insult girls and teenagers everywhere.
You know who is really at fault? Go grab a mirror... Yes that's it, it's you. We constantly gripe on other woman in front of our children how this actress or the other one looks fat. We criticize and feel no shame in questioning their looks and so what does that teach our young daughter's? It teaches them that looks are everything. We don't teach with the example on how maintaining a good weight is important for a healthy body, no we teach them how fat the actress look in that dress and that with weight it will be hard to find anyone who loves her.
So there my rant for Stinky Adults Wednesday, couldn't help myself. My patience reached and end with that topic.
- I feel: cheerful
2. Speaking of summer, is everyone else hot too?
3. I did lots today, including the annual mammogram. Did you do yours?
4. I have decided to stop the purchase of all books until I get done with my TBR pile... LOL let's see how long that last.
5. Out of curiosity. How do some of you decide the topics they talk in LJ?
- I feel: crushed